


lay me down

by AslansCompass



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Gen, Post Finale, Post Season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-28 22:51:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13913841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AslansCompass/pseuds/AslansCompass
Summary: Ezra Bridger, season four finale.  Massive spoilers.





	lay me down

**Author's Note:**

> I only started watching Rebels last month, but I've seen the first two seasons and the painful half of season four. I just wanted an ending for Kanan and Ezra where they could be together and at peace. It also reminded me of issue 134 of Fables, when Darien asks his dad "Did I do right?"

_Emotion, yet peace._ The opening line of the Jedi Code echoes in Era's mind as he stands on the Star Destroyer's bridge. Wind tears through the broken windows and plates. Tentacles flicker blue, barely noticeable in the sunlight.  
"Ezra, Ezra get out of there. That is an order."  
"Hera, I have to see this through to the end." They won't have another chance like this. Not against Thrawn. Not against the Empire.  
"Ezra, get out of there."  
"I can't do that." Glass shards hang in the air, suspended in time. "It's up to all of you now." They don't need him to be amazing.   
_Passion, yet serenity._  
"And remember, the Force will be with you, always."  
It doesn't frighten him, not anymore. Jedi live on borrowed time; who knows better than one born on Empire Day? Ahead, the purrgill are disappearing into hyperspace. Thawn is no longer struggling.  

 _Death, yet the Force._  
Everything turns to light. 

* * *

 _Peace._  

Is this what mediation is supposed to feel like? Oh, he could make excuses all he wanted about how there was always something that needed doing--lightsaber practice, _Ghost_ maintenance,  milk runs,--but Ezra suspected he'd have hated meditation just as much if he'd grown up in the remotest, quietest, dullest planet in the Outer Rim.  He was fine with the sensing-other-beings part, but  _connecting_ was so much worse.  Release control? Open to your surrounding? Not when your surroundings were trying to kriffing kill you.

But here.... it's like searching for water in the ocean. He doesn't sense the Force, any more than he senses air. Not stale, cycled air in the shuttles or a mask, but fresh, planetary air, the sort of place where meilooruns would grow.  

The purrgill are gone, taking Thrawn with them. Ezra opens his eyes, but can't see anything he recognizes. Has he gone blind, like Kanan? It's white, pure light--no, it's a starry sky, with the twin moons overhead--no, it's the Jedi temple from Lothal, as it must have been when first built.  It's a hundred different places, but the same sensation in all of them.  

 Something ripples in his mind, no more than a floating leaf against the overwhelming presence of the Force.  Even as a whisper, it feels like a bolt-rifle to the chest.  _ **Ezra.**_

 **Kanan?** But it can't be, it isn't-- he thought he'd resigned himself to the nagging emptiness, like hunger and thirst and cold and loneliness and every day of his life since his parents died, and nothing like anything he could describe. He thought he'd have to get used to it, like he'd gotten used to Kanan's blindness (or at least he'd told himself he had, ignoring the flickers of guilt that sprang up unpredictably.) He didn't exactly have a chance to bring the subject up with Ashoka either.  But if this was him--if it was Kanan.... 

**_Ezra?_ **

He can't bear it any longer. He follows the bond, moving quick as a hyperspace jump.  Kanan is there, smiling, looking younger ( _looking_ , his turquoise eyes meeting Ezra's stunned gaze) and happier than Ezra had ever seen him. 

"Hey, hey," Kanan wraps his arms around Ezra. "Ezra, buddy, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Ezra wipes his eyes on his sleeve. "Nothing's wrong now. I just... I missed you."  

"Well, I missed you too. Though I must admit, I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon. That is, once I realized I was still me," Kanan scratches his regrown beard. "Does that make sense? For all their wisdom, the Jedi were rather vague on what happens afterwards. 'There is no death, there is the Force' isn't exactly a star chart."

"Are--are you a ghost?" Ezra glances from himself to Kanan and back again. "Am I?"

"It certainly wasn't a standard belief at the Temple. And after... well, if every Jedi came back as a ghost, there'd be no room on Coruscant for the living." There's no bitterness in Kanan's words; indeed, he sounds amused.  "Wherever we are, I'm glad we're together.  How long has it been for you?"

"We got away.  Even blew up Thrawn's Star Destroyer. The rest of the crew is probably still on Lothal. The temple's gone, but so's the Imperial forces. And Ashoka--she's still alive. I got her back."

"That's not what I'm asking."

"We really got the Empire this time. Thrawn's dead. The fuel depot's gone." Please, don't make me say it.  There's a clock in the back of my mind, counting the hours and days. But it sounds so small when I say it.

Kanan must have sensed Ezra's reluctance. "Years?"

Ezra shakes his head.

"Months?"

Ezra shakes his head again.

"Weeks?"

Shake.

"Days?"

Ezra nods.

Kanan holds Ezra closer. "Well, then..." 

He's going to yell, Ezra guesses. He's going to assume I did something stupid and heroic, that I didn't think things through. He's going to be mad at me for leaving the Rebellion without a Jedi. But I told him about Ashoka, she's still out there.... 

"You've been having one hell of a week," Kanan says softly. "But you're here now."

"Wherever here is."

"Your guess is as good as mine. Does Lothal have any legends about the afterlife?"

"None that I know. And nothing about the Force. Which, as far as I can tell, is pretty much the only other thing here."

"I'd suggest exploring, but that doesn't exactly work when the whole world is this .... malleable. It wasn't like I had much to do here," Kanan explains. "Turns out if you imagine hard enough, the environment shifts to match. It takes a lot of concentration, though, which is why it's blank at the moment."

"What were you picturing?"

"I'll show you." The world shifts from white to the familiar blue-grey of hyperspace. They're sitting in the _Ghost'_ s cockpit (specters in a memory). "It's all there, every piece. But I can't make people. Hera, Sabine, Zeb... even Chopper. I tried....it just wasn't right.  I thought I'd be alone, until you showed up." 

"Can't get rid of me that easily," Ezra grins. "So, now what? We just sit here doing nothing?"

"I might able to make some sabac tiles if I concentrate hard enough."

"Sabac? We're going to spend the afterlife playing sabac?" 

"You have a better idea?" Kanan leans back in his seat.  

"There's got to be something else we can do. Help the others.  Or just, you know, spy on them."

"Just what Hera needs,  you spying on all her private business."

"Oh, like you wouldn't be spying right alongside me."

"We've been a team for years."

"Oh, a team? Is that what you tell yourself? Aren't Jedi supposed to shun attachments?" Ezra smirks.  "Sure didn't look like that to me."

"What Hera and I do--or don't do--" Kanan hastily adds, "is between her and me. And if you keep asking, let me remind you that I am still your master and I'll have you... practice saber forms or meditate or something."

"Whatever you say, master," Ezra turns to walk back through the ship. "On second thought..." He waves a hand, dissolving the windows. "Think I'll just do some stargazing for now."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Looking at the sequence of events from "Jedi Knight" to the finale, the only place that might include a gap is between "A World Between Worlds" and "A Fool's Hope;" "Jedi Knight" to "A World Between Worlds" are consecutive over three or four days. I just estimated from there.


End file.
